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The main thing we should have been warned about…

Reverse culture shock is always mentioned when it comes to going back home after traveling abroad for a long time. I’ve been warned about it from countless of people, but I only experienced it once when I was ordering food and the cashier was super (emphasis on SUPER) nice and friendly. It’s not like Japanese workers are unfriendly, but it’s strange to finally hear the language that I am used to in an incredibly friendly manner.

Anyway, back to the main point. What people should have warned us about was how displaced we will feel once we get back home. Because I was sent home so abruptly, nothing feels right. I miss my roommate, my friends, and my apartment. I came home to a room full of things (because my room was used for storage) that I don’t recall ever having. I spent a good amount of time cleaning it out and trying to get my life back into the rhythm I was used to before Japan, but it’s been hard.

Because I came back in the middle of the semester, I have no classes. It’s been difficult reaching out to people for help – no one ever replies until maybe 2 weeks later, after I send another email reminding them that I need help and I need help ASAP in order to keep my financial aid. Everything is closed and my parents are super paranoid about the virus. It’s hard to meet anyone because of the lockdown and it’s even harder to go out and get the things that I need because I’m afraid of bringing the virus back home.

So far, I haven’t been doing much but sending out as many emails as I can for help regarding school. I’ve scheduled appointments on Zoom too, but in the end, there’s never one solution that fixes it all. It always leads back to sending more emails, so I’ve been running back and forth emailing more people in order to get help. I’m slowly losing the optimism that I had when I first got back to America – the optimism that everything will be okay and everything will work out. It’s been almost a month since I got back, and yet I have yet to get everything sorted. I’m starting to dread opening my email because I know it’s going to be empty.

Hopefully, the people that I’ve emailed replied back soon, but there’s nothing I can do but wait on them. I’m hanging on to the thinnest thread of hope right now, but I am about 90% sure the earliest I can get my classes will be in the summer. Maybe everything will work out in the end, who knows. For now, all there’s left to do is wait.

Man, how I miss Japan.

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